Lying on the acupuncture table today, trying to relax and come to terms that having children for us will never be traditional. That there may always be some element of science involved, and that I am grateful that God uses modern science too. I was overwhelmed with emotions as Thanksgiving is this week and thinking about so many things I am thankful for. Even though this (infertility) is not what I would have chosen, and does challenge me daily, I am thankful for the growth. Looking back God has brought me so far, I use to feel such shame, loneliness, disappointment, feelings of less than, brokenness, and so much more. Yet God had to work in me and has changed me and my perspective, now the things that used to bother me and triggered me, no longer do, for that I am thankful.
After my infertility support group meeting this past week, I have been really been thinking about how far God has brought me and all these reasons I have to thank Him. I am thankful for my salvation, redemption, and God restoring my soul (Ps. 23). I am thankful for my husband’s love and support along with my family, friends, and co-workers. I am thankful to have been able to go through IVF, that is not a viable option for everyone and in earlier years it wasn’t for us. I am thankful for a successful IVF cycle that yielded eggs and ultimately embryos. I am thankful to have had those beautiful embabies transferred into my womb, though they only lived for a short time there was much joy. I am thankful for the chance to grieve our loss and know that one day I will get to see my babies in heaven.
My heart goes out to my sisters in the struggle, those women who like me are in various stages of this journey and taking it one day at a time. Those who are unable to even start IVF for any reason, or who had a canceled cycle, or did not have viable eggs/embryos. Those like me who embabies did not stick and grow in the womb, or those that did and miscarried. All of it and so much more is a part of our stories and journey, I for one am thankful for it all. It is true what Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” This year I am thankful for the gift of life, God’s grace, goodness, and favor.
I hope that you and your family have a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving!